I don't feel like being a Christian today. Part 1

Well...It is the truth!!

 Today started fairly like any other...well maybe not.

  Last night I dreamt that I created an altar to an unknown god. At this altar, the lady who attended it basically told me that this was a secret altar. It immediately caused anger to stir up in me! And against the grain of what I felt was right in my dream, I violently destroyed the altar! I woke up with the belief that this was a dream from the Father.

So as I prepared for the day I felt like He would reveal a "high place" in me that was secret. And I asked Him to reveal it! (If you ever want to grow, sometimes it takes this, no matter how earth-shattering it may feel like!)


DID HE EVER ANSWER!!!!!!!!!



I had a situation with a fellow worker within 5 minutes of entering the job I work at! Normally it would have just been an irritation, but today it felt as if I was a liar for claiming that I was God's. I didn't feel like being who I was! An Overcomer! I wanted to dredge around in rage and spew on everyone! Don't know if I did leak any but for the longest time I hated the restraints of being who I was really carried.  But you can probably glean from my dream explanation that I do often "go against the grain" of my feelings. I asked some brothers to pray for me. If an verse could explain it the best it would be James 5:16. It was so true! Within 30 minutes God gave me peace to believe again. Being a disciple is beyond feeling like you are.

What is your foundation in Christ? A feeling? Someone else's faith? I've been in both of those. Both lead to great disappointment.

You see...like the parable  of the two houses, God sends the Adversary to test our foundation. Hopefully before it is too late, but all the same...

Like both Job and Simon Peter.


With Job, God allowed the Adversary to take everything from him. To give him one thing. Himself.  He was the most blessed man in the land. He, like many of us are very blessed. The adversary basically beat his body physically and mentally, till he finally called out for an explanation of why he was going through this. I've  actually been to this place many times with God. Job's friends told him he deserved what he got. His wife told him to curse God. Basically to throw in the towel. God then showed up and told Job that he needed humility in coming before Him. He openly rebuked Job's friends and told them that their only salvation was to give Job animals to sacrifice and ask for Job to pray for them.   Job prayed...and because of the one possesion he obtained, he was given increase for giving.

See I don't feel like being a Christian today-Part 2for the rest

A confession and hope for going on.

First of all, dear readers, Happy New Beginning.

Within the past year, I have learned many things, unlearned a few, and fell too many times to count.

Yet.....

With all the the mistakes,blunders, and selfish actions....God still has not left.

His love is completely humiliating to me. It convicts me sometimes and others have completely ignored his calling.

I've written the past few years about the amazing love of God, But absolute truth is there are still corners of my heart that evade his complete control. There is no place for me to feel sorry for my self in this..

This year I hope that he give only Himself...So much that if He were to withdraw himself, I would feel it.

Also, that this year I'd  like to rest. I know now that my striving to be good comes to naught.  I also  know he is not disappointed in who he created and is not now either.


He calls me his beloved son. Just like Christ. I'm part of an inheritance that He wants on earth as it is in heaven.Part of His chosen Bride.

 May his Bride go forth this year and be further purified by His hand. May we set ourselves aside for what he would give us.

Be Salty

 "You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men. Matthew 5:13




 What is food without salt? Some of it is very tasteless. 


Let me throw an aspect which I'm sure is not new to most of you. 


First , a common fact. Salt makes you thirst. It makes you crave liquid. Simple. 


We as disciples should, in our lives, cause people to thirst after the everlasting water of Christ. Our lives should not need to answer. Because the answer is Christ. We are a means to show others (together) what He looks like.

 Like a mirror.




 The "greatest" men and women in history have pointed to Christ as their strength.

If we as disciples lose our ability to point to Christ as our refuge and salvation..we become useless.

Committed?

 I want to ask you an honest question. Are you committed to Christ?
There is no right or wrong answer...but it is between you and Him.  Please be honest. I'm not asking for an answer, just that you think on it, meditate on what it really means, and ask Him to show you what it is. Please have the courage to ask.

A small confession of myself

I know for me, even being "single,"  I am owned. I belong to someone.  Christ has committed Himself so that no matter how much I fall or how much I want to give up (and have!) He will never : give up or let up.

Without Christ, I am nothing. I realize that I'm only 25, but he has shown me a little of me. He has revealed that on my own: I am a blasphemous, wicked, cowardly, lustful,and SELF-RIGHTEOUS  thing .



 But he also promised never to leave.

How can I say more?

Is it about you or Him?

I just got done dumping my disappointments on God. I've wanted to go on a "missions" trip for a while now. It really feels like a burning inside my heart to touch people in other countries. To feel their pain and be changed into a more caring person.

But then comes reality. 

Every time I start saving...something comes up. Right in my face. It may be a need in the house I live in to help out, a friend who needs support, or God wants to lavish on someone and he chose me as the vessel. 

After all that, I end up spending all that I'd saved. Though I don't want to fool you, I do plenty of self pampering as well with my savings. (I'm learning that no matter what I have, it never seems enough! Black hole syndrome ) 

Anyways....

I asked God why this was happening and He really answered! This was no way in my mind.

He asked : Are you wanting it for you or me?

Big question. I just know I'll look back at this post on a later date and feel like it was for then as well.

If it was God I should be able to wait. If it is just me wanting to say that I did something, it will most likely never happen.  

One question for all my readers. 

Are you living your life for Him? Or is it wrapped up in the affairs of the world? 

Do you feel like God has spoke now YOU need to make it happen? 

If so, it may not be God after all. Though that is just from my experience. God works differently  with different people. But please consider the answer.

Don't ever rush Him. You will ALWAYS miss opportunities that he gives along the way.

Remember the words of Paul: "To live is Christ and to die is gain." 

Sometimes it's just another day

 Ever feel that "it's just another day" feeling? I believe some do at least, including me. But the truth is...IT IS NOT! This day was created for a purpose. Pretty obvious. But not everyone feels like it is all that important. Let me illustrate my point a little:

For two days now I have been waking up at 3:30. No real explanation, no alarm. Yesterday I woke up and fell back to sleep ten minutes later. Didn't think too much on it till about 2:00 yesterday when a text from our Africa travelers came out. People had gotten evicted from their homes and people who the RCV knew got shot. Not our travelers, but family members of people who were part of the church over there. We prayed for everyone  that was affected yesterday, but I could not help but realize that I was awakened that morning 10:30 am Africa time. It was no accident. 

Each day has a purpose. Each person we meet is special to the Father, no matter who they are. EVERYONE. Period. This day we are given is for the glorification of the one who sent his son to die for us to seal his covenant between us and Him. It is an incredible day whether it is a long and hard or short and easy. Though it may be very easy to forget, it is His day. 

Like the saying/children's song goes(which my Dad used to wake me up every morning singing when I was a lot younger): This is the day the LORD has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it.

I really hope that I remember that for the rest of eternity.