FEED ME!

I started a specialized diet this week to deal with some of the symptoms of sickness and disorder that have occurred over the last few years (I'll save you the gory details)

Anyways.

Deep inside everyone's insides resides bacteria (everyone knows this If you took biology in school or just got curious enough to look it up). There are many types that are symbiotic to us and help us digest food. And like the good..we have bad bacteria aka. Yeast . Normally, the good bacteria help keep the yeast from overpopulating us and causing us major problems.But with a high sugar/caffeine diet the bad outweigh the good.That's where I've been

The "yeast" LOVES simple sugars.

Anyways, enough "Scientist Ben"

We also encounter this in our spiritual walk as well. Like the analogy of the two dogs. Feed one and starve the other. But I believe that our walk is more like the two organisms Spiritual bacteria vs. Fleshy yeast.

Inside each of us we also have the capacity to choose who we will feed. Often we opt to go the "simple" way feeding ourselves what pleases us for the moment. It doesn't have to be something extreme even. Watching a movie or playing a video game just to check out even. That's an example from my own life. We may not think it much...and it really isn't in very small portions. BUT!!!! It becomes a feeding point for the flesh. Like the yeast in the body, the flesh is very hardy. You really cannot be rid of it fully.  And if you feed it enough, it too causes problems.  Overgrowth of flesh is like a black hole and is NEVER satisfied.


Christ also put his spirit into us as well don't forget. Like the good  flora in the gut of a human helps us digest food, the spirit digests Gods words. It battles the flesh and the flesh battle the spirit. Like the good flora in the body help you digest vitamins and minerals..God's spirit feeds us.


I apologize if this post has been out of place since I've been out of practice on blogging lately.

Called to live

If today were your last day, what would you say that you did with the life you were given? Did you truly live like God intended you to or did you just follow the crowd? A Francis Chan quote I have really come to like is : "God  is a creator, not a duplicator." Too many times I try to be this incredible person, I believe that I need to act a certain way, be just like so-and-so, and have to live just like the person I admire(Which happens to be Hudson Taylor). I'm not saying that having heroes is a bad thing at all. We all need to feel encouraged when we hear about people  who lived their lives for Christ alone.But lest we forget, the only way they were able to do what they did was though Christ. Hudson Taylor almost died early on in his life. The only way he survived was by a miracle of God. Can any of us say that we have that much faith? That we give up the security of being healthy to serve him? I can say I want to live a radical life, but will I live radically for Christ where I am? Sometimes we can forget that we were made for God's purpose, not our own. We get caught up in what we want to do for Christ with our life and end up missing the mission field in our own lives. God calls us not to live in the mountains but to bring joy down to the Valley of Despair. I saw a movie about a lady named Dorothy Day this past weekend. She started out wanting to further her and others agendas through political marches.She got introduced to the work of Christ through a Catholic nun. The nun ran a food kitchen for the poor. Dorothy saw that this lady was not getting anything out of the deal,so she got curious. To make a long story short, Dorothy made a place for the poor in her own  house. She eventually got so stressed with everything, so she went to her church and cried out to God. She wanted to see Christ in the people she served, just like Christ said "Whatever you do to the least of these, you do to me." She eventually did. Her love for those people is a shining light for all. Her ministry was called The Catholic workers. How often do we see Christ at our doorstep? In our homes? Inside our brothers and sisters? Let us live each day as our calling. We don't have to wait for God to "call us" to missions, he set us in one. It's called daily life.

Missing Him

"I slept, but my heart was awake,

when I heard my lover knocking and calling:

“Open to me, my treasure, my darling,

my dove, my perfect one.

My head is drenched with dew,

my hair with the dampness of the night.”

But I responded,

“I have taken off my robe.

Should I get dressed again?

I have washed my feet.

Should I get them soiled?”

My lover tried to unlatch the door,

and my heart thrilled within me.

I jumped up to open the door for my love,

and my hands dripped with perfume.

My fingers dripped with lovely myrrh

as I pulled back the bolt.

I opened to my lover,

but he was gone!

My heart sank.

I searched for him

but could not find him anywhere.

I called to him,

but there was no reply."     - Song of Solomon 5:2-6

For each disciple, the journey often takes different routes, but for anyone who seeks to fall in love with Christ, in the intimate way, we find that often, when he calls,we have something we want to do and we reply "I have taken off my robe.Should I get dressed again? I have washed my feet. Should I get them soiled?” Just like the woman in the story, we give excuses why we cannot answer the call. When we hear him trying to enter our heart, as we try to let him in, he seems to disappear. We are left with the feeling that we were abandoned. Like Christ on the cross, we ask "My God why have you forsaken me?" This experience draws us closer to the  lover of our soul. It also teaches us to answer him quicker. Christ is multi-dimensional. When we think we know why he allows something to happen to us, and even if we see a small benefit a little later down the road, he uses the experience for many other reasons. The thought that comes to mind, is that the will of God is like a diamond, when you look at one side,you don't see the entire gem; you must turn it around in your hand and look at each facet. That is the way God shows us the effects of how our obedience, suffering, and self-denying actions effect others and even our own life.  He wants to be near us, and longs to make us just like him. Such love he has for us!

Passage story

It's been a long time since I've written, so I will have a little to write tonight. About a week ago, my youngest brother had his passage (WOW! It shakes me every time I think about it!) For those who are following this blog that don't know what a passage is; it is when we acknowledge that a young person has started being a man  or woman in Christ. We usually celebrate by holding a day in which we give portions of what God has given us in our lives(usually this means a story or analogy) to help the young person in their life. Anyways, my youngest brother Brandon and his friend Noah had their "passage" last Saturday. We started it out by having a nature walk "Audubon style." We learned a lot about nature in that hour-and-a-half.  Then, for the passage, we went to a restaurant in Holly Springs, Mississippi called "Anne's" (This was a great place to eat as well). Most of what we gave was Brandon is a "light-bearer" ( might have something to do with his videography) and that Noah is a safe place. To better explain this, I'll tell my gift to both of them. To Brandon, I gave a torch stand. I said this represents him. I then put the actual torch in it and said " God has filled you with his life through your experiences." When I gave him the oil for the torch, I made him see that it contained lemon grass. This was a representation of the "bitter experiences" that cause us to draw closer to Christ. It also keeps the "spiritual mosquitoes" from draining our life essence. Then, because we were inside and I couldn't light it, I just told him that God sent a spark into him that ignited his heart on fire for God. Also, that he must remember that he is the stand, nothing of this light is "his" he is just the vessel. Just a side note, before this night he was just a brother, as the passage went on, he slipped his way into my selfish heart. I can honestly say that I truly love him now. I don't know for sure what God has in store for him, but I hope that I can boost him up a little. To Noah I gave a cedar bird house. I told him that like the bird house, he gives shelter  to those who are injured spiritually as well as his friends. The cedar aroma  represents the love of Christ that  leaks from his very being. Noah is a great friend, whenever he sees someone looking down, he does what he can to lift their spirits. Both are awesome men, I look forward to the adventures they will have.Praise to the King, who brings us up to his highest.

P.s. Sorry, no pictures yet!

Awoken from a deep sleep.

Ever felt like you were missing something in your life? I am currently experiencing  this very thing. I started school last week, and have been running blind lately. I cannot tell you much more other than that I wake up some nights out of a dead-sleep feeling very weird. I truly hope none of this is complaining! I guess this is the best time to seek God the most. There is no way that that what's happening is an accident. It is God's hand on my life. I love to understand too much of what he is doing, that I don't trust him out of blind faith. This is the same faith that all disciples of Christ must have. Being with the people of God is for me like being raised from the dead(In theory). First, you of course, are DEAD. No question about that. You hear a voice that tells you to wake up. You have this weird feeling as hands touch your heart, all of a sudden they squeeze. Your heart slowly starts,but one problem, no life blood. You feel empty. The voice then connects a itself to you, and you start to feel... warmth. All of your organs start to work, but you GASP....No Air! Then as if on cue, the voice breathes in your lungs. As you try to wake up you realize that you can't. Your  eyes refuse to open. And the voice says "In time." "Just be patient, you need help." You feel hands touch your eyelids..then all of a sudden, a blinding light floods your pupils. When your eyes adjust, You see not one face, but MANY! This is how it has been for me. It takes the hands of Christ through brothers and sisters around me to bring me to life. They are how God reaches this living creature called Benjamyn. Well hope this made sense and was not complaining.

Wow moment

I just started my first class at University of Tennessee(Selmer branch) tonight. I really could not believe I was there to tell you the truth. Nothing in me should have had the nerve to go through with enrolling. I truly know that it was God that helped me to be able to get everything together for my registration. I mean, I was within a week of not being able to go  because I would have missed the deadline. But, since a friend (Amy Pennington) told me that school started January 19th vs. my thought of sometime in March, I made it. My class tonight was Visual Art,which is amazing in it's self, but not half as much as having a friend in that class with me! I got to see Ken S. in my class tonight, so I knew God was backing me up. I am very happy that I am able to do things with God's people. If tomorrow brings me losing my grant or anything else God may send, I feel that it would be his will. For the moment, I really enjoy having this opportunity to expand my knowledge and to hopefully become clay in the Potter's hands with my direction towards a medical field.

I really hope that I can pass this experience on to others. God wants to use us for his purpose, but he needs us to give up hope that we can do it for him and to know that the only way God uses us is if we allow ourselves to be directed by him. He allows us to be a tool in his work, for he is the hands we need to move at all! Just like Mother Theresa stated " I am only a pencil in the hand of Christ." I  hope to remember that for years to come. For it is not what we can do for Christ, but what he does through us and in us that matters most in his kingdom.That's my thoughts for tonight, I hope it didn't sound too lofty....because God really shows the fruit the day we least expect the test."POP QUIZ!" LOL...I hope that helped lighten it up a little!:-)

All for the King

Today I just want to say how much I love being a part of the people of God. There is nothing in me that deserves at all to be a child of the King! I am so humbled by how  much he cares for us. God brought back my short-fused temper this week...which shocked me, because I truly thought that I was headed away from this. It seems like God had gotten all that was visible to me out of the way, then started on digging at my soul. I read something in Fenelon's Seeking Heart that God does not go after what doesn't react to his touch...It's dead, and cannot fight against his will! He prods our sensitive spots to cause us to be shown who we are down inside. He works until we are absolutely worn out. The cross targets all that is alive to kill our old self. When we do die to our selfish wants, dreams, and desires (.....yes, even those that are for him!),we become still-like  in him. This is when he raises our spirit. We may look the same, have the same defects, but they aren't full of sin. We become like Adam and Eve before sin entered the garden. We look to Jesus for our direction and no longer depend on our self or for that matter, trust self. We are made perfect in the creator's eyes...by the only way we can be, through Christ. We become a true part of Christ when empty of ourselves. Me devoid of self. I hope that I didn't sound lofty with any of this, and would like anyone who feels that way to approach me. I thank God that he works on his children to make us want to  grow up to be like him.Best of all, he is with us all the way! To the end....

Empty

I am not sure what to write in this post....Normally God hits a certain subject in my life that gives me an idea. I would really like to blog at least once a week, so I will have to seek God on what to write each time.

I truly feel that without God I'd be a wreck. Well, truth be told, he has wrecked me anyways. I know what your thinking...sounds counter-productive...right?  You would be right if it were any other relationship. One of God's goals is to make us a wreak. He wants us to be absolutely dependent on him and HIM ALONE. God has shown me a lot of this with the relationship with my Dad. For about 5 years now, we have been working on having a close relationship. Even with all the effort, we both seem like we are from different planets. We have a hard time talking sometimes, and have gotten through a major amount of situations together. Without God, we may not have had anything to do with each other.According to human standards, we were hopeless. God wanted us to need him. He alone could help us....not any effort that we tried.Our selves just get in the way By the grace of God,we both live among brothers and sisters in Christ  who have helped pull down God for us many a time, and  are headed toward a great friendship.As with all great friendships, it takes waking up every single day,  forgetting one's self to think of the other person. I really have started feeling a love for my Dad that wasn't there before. It is a miracle! Anyone who knows us both knows this to be true

We need to be emptied of ourselves to be filled up with Christ. If there is even the smallest amount of self, we need to ask  Jesus Christ to empty us of our self. A person devoid of self is like a vacuum for the Spirit of Christ. Hopefully we all can get to the point that we cannot truly live without Christ. I know I'm definitely not fully there yet...just  beginning.

Wisdom from Jeanne Guyon

I read a little out of Jeanne Guyon's "Intimacy with Christ." The passage I read was about how God deals with us to make us his own. She said that there are many situations we are put into AREN'T for making us stronger, but to weaken our resistance. He wants to make us like children that depend on their Father. "Truly I say to you, unless you are converted and become like children, you shall not enter the kingdom of heaven." (Matt.18:3)

This thought is far from most of adults these days. To be like a child? To be absolutely helpless? It is truly a hard pill be swallow for us individaually oriented people. We want to be able to look strong, our prayers even echo this. We pray that God give us strength to help others.His answer is usually that he sends circumstances that makes us feel helpless.We feel that God has abondoned us. We blame the Adversary's attacks.(He is just the messanger boy,but we forget!) I know this is not something I look as fun. Anyways, I thought I'd just share this new step I came across today. I hope that I can learn this one day.

Learning a new way

Well, hopefully this whole blog will be more of  sharing the journey of becoming intimate with Christ. I would love to hear others experiences with God.  I have been reading some of Madame Guyon's writings week( so far I've read  through Experiencing the depths of Jesus Christ,Union with God,and Final steps in Christian Maturity. I would have to say these are very deep and I used to not be able to understand what she is saying. Her basic point throughout these books is becoming like the woman fom Song of Solomon in the Bible. To go from our need of feeling God's presence, to having a relationship with him at all times,eve when it seems he has abondoned us. If  you like novels, Hannah Hurnard's Hinds feet on High Places explains this very well fro those who are visual like me. Well, anyway I'm full. God is emptying me of the way I think He should be. Just like MuchAfraid, he is bringing me to himself.
 Thanks for reading!
Benjamyn Michael Wilson