Whatever you ask..do you really believe this?

And whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. John 14:13 (KJV)


Have you ever really thought about this verse? Not just a fleeting thought but had your mind truly fixed on it? This verse means different things for each person, so here is an example of it that happened to me this week.


Well, let me start a little back in time. A few years ago, I read Hudson Taylor's autobiography. Within his life he had many examples of this verse. Whenever he asked Christ to put him in situations that would cause him to have to draw closer to the Creator, it happened. Most of the time, it really tested his faith. Hudson became so close to Christ that he eventually went to China. In his time in China, the lessons he learned before arriving caused him to trust that Christ was in control. 


Just last week, I had a similar situation. Wednesday I asked God to cause a deeper relationship with himself,no matter what it took. I've had a few times like this before.


Well, He gave me an opportunity. 


I have been wanting to go help a friend in Mexico for a few months now. I started saving money this past week and had a budget plan. Everything seemed to fall into place. 


Now  comes the fun  part. 


Friday I got a text from a brother who I live with that I was behind on my ministry dues. For those few non-RCV'ers who follow, we have been supporting "Mercy Homes" in India see http://mercyhomes.org/),  a couple orphanages in Myanmar (formerly Burma) through Heaven's Family (see http://www.heavensfamily.org/), and helping a church in Africa by micro-loans to start their businesses.


I wasn't just a little behind, I was $215 behind! That really hit me. It wasn't a convicted reaction either. I threw a fit. A 25 year old disciple of Jesus Christ, someone who is supposed to have given up everything to follow him...threw a fit. I said I didn't understand. My good friend and brother in Christ,  John Bob, told me that it was my responsibility. He told me (not perfectly quoted) " you want to be a missionary, but miss God right in front of you." He was right. I found out later after I made a payment plan to get caught up, I had overdrawn my bank account recently. All my "savings" for Mexico had disappeared. 


It was then I heard, "No matter what?"


Yep. As you can guess, I got a first hand example of Him answering my prayer for His glory. 
I believe even more.


May He always get the glory in my life. 


No matter what.

Crickets are crunchy!

This post was inspired by a friend.They posted a YouTube  link on Facebook from a youth pastor who wanted to prove proclaiming Christ was easier than eating crickets. Here is the link, in case you wanted to see what she posted http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eOr4OEPDtnU.

Anyways, that thought brought an idea to me. How often do I allow my self to "eat crickets" instead of living out a God-fearing life? I did eat a live one once... not to gross anyone out. It definitely seems like "eating crickets" can be easier. I mean, there's our pride...insecurities....desires. Not to say wanting to do something great is a bad thing. As long as it does not get in the way of what is in front of you right now.  Doing what we want can be so simple sometimes...doing God's will takes a daily commitment to follow when it it hard.

Awoken from a deep sleep.

Ever felt like you were missing something in your life? I am currently experiencing  this very thing. I started school last week, and have been running blind lately. I cannot tell you much more other than that I wake up some nights out of a dead-sleep feeling very weird. I truly hope none of this is complaining! I guess this is the best time to seek God the most. There is no way that that what's happening is an accident. It is God's hand on my life. I love to understand too much of what he is doing, that I don't trust him out of blind faith. This is the same faith that all disciples of Christ must have. Being with the people of God is for me like being raised from the dead(In theory). First, you of course, are DEAD. No question about that. You hear a voice that tells you to wake up. You have this weird feeling as hands touch your heart, all of a sudden they squeeze. Your heart slowly starts,but one problem, no life blood. You feel empty. The voice then connects a itself to you, and you start to feel... warmth. All of your organs start to work, but you GASP....No Air! Then as if on cue, the voice breathes in your lungs. As you try to wake up you realize that you can't. Your  eyes refuse to open. And the voice says "In time." "Just be patient, you need help." You feel hands touch your eyelids..then all of a sudden, a blinding light floods your pupils. When your eyes adjust, You see not one face, but MANY! This is how it has been for me. It takes the hands of Christ through brothers and sisters around me to bring me to life. They are how God reaches this living creature called Benjamyn. Well hope this made sense and was not complaining.

Empty

I am not sure what to write in this post....Normally God hits a certain subject in my life that gives me an idea. I would really like to blog at least once a week, so I will have to seek God on what to write each time.

I truly feel that without God I'd be a wreck. Well, truth be told, he has wrecked me anyways. I know what your thinking...sounds counter-productive...right?  You would be right if it were any other relationship. One of God's goals is to make us a wreak. He wants us to be absolutely dependent on him and HIM ALONE. God has shown me a lot of this with the relationship with my Dad. For about 5 years now, we have been working on having a close relationship. Even with all the effort, we both seem like we are from different planets. We have a hard time talking sometimes, and have gotten through a major amount of situations together. Without God, we may not have had anything to do with each other.According to human standards, we were hopeless. God wanted us to need him. He alone could help us....not any effort that we tried.Our selves just get in the way By the grace of God,we both live among brothers and sisters in Christ  who have helped pull down God for us many a time, and  are headed toward a great friendship.As with all great friendships, it takes waking up every single day,  forgetting one's self to think of the other person. I really have started feeling a love for my Dad that wasn't there before. It is a miracle! Anyone who knows us both knows this to be true

We need to be emptied of ourselves to be filled up with Christ. If there is even the smallest amount of self, we need to ask  Jesus Christ to empty us of our self. A person devoid of self is like a vacuum for the Spirit of Christ. Hopefully we all can get to the point that we cannot truly live without Christ. I know I'm definitely not fully there yet...just  beginning.

From Spiritual infancy to adolesence

 I have been thinking about my relationship with Christ. He called his disciples to leave everything. Their families,jobs,lives and to follow him. After Christ ascended, they we They were lost until Christ's spirit fell on them. They didn't know what to do. They had become separated from their own lives. After Christ spirit fell on them, they didn't jump up and evangelize. It took persecution to spread the seed of the gospel throughout the "lost sheep of the house of Israel" and eventually the Gentiles. 

Jesus calls us today to follow. He tells us that we must leave all, only to become connected to himself alone. At first, our relationship is like that of an infant. Christ feeds us and we are swaddled in his love. His promises are wondrous and  we are usually full of zeal. But we are not able to stay here. 

Whether it takes months, years, or decades we eventually move on to the next stage. I think I have just gotten to this point.He wants to cause us to be his alone. We then  step into the "adolescence" of our relationship with Christ. I have felt that this is probably the hardest time in our walk with Christ. Zeal starts to run out, we start to really feel the consequences of truly following, and  Christ's promises seem distant to us. In this time, we truly find out that it is not our steps in our own strength that help. It can even be a hindrance for us to succeed in our way. We need God most in this stage.It is our dependence on him alone and not his promises to us. 

Hopefully this post doesn't sound mixed up....I cannot think clearly right now. I feel that moving only to be an extension of Christ, not what we feel we want to do for him, but what he will do through us.

  

 

  

A thought/ The light brigade

I watched an awesome movie last night. It was called " The Blind Side."
It is the story of how a big black kid nicknamed "Big Mike" (Michael Orly) went from the slums of Memphis to semi-pro NCAA football star. My favorite part was the famous  poem   Charge of the light brigade.


The Charge Of The Light Brigade
by Alfred, Lord Tennyson
Memorializing Events in the Battle of Balaclava, October 25, 1854


Written 1854


Half a league half a league,
Half a league onward,
All in the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred:
'Forward, the Light Brigade!
Charge for the guns' he said:
Into the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.

'Forward, the Light Brigade!'
Was there a man dismay'd ?
Not tho' the soldier knew
Some one had blunder'd:
Theirs not to make reply,
Theirs not to reason why,
Theirs but to do & die,
Into the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.


Cannon to right of them,
Cannon to left of them,
Cannon in front of them
Volley'd & thunder'd;
Storm'd at with shot and shell,
Boldly they rode and well,
Into the jaws of Death,
Into the mouth of Hell
Rode the six hundred.


Flash'd all their sabres bare,
Flash'd as they turn'd in air
Sabring the gunners there,
Charging an army while
All the world wonder'd:


Plunged in the battery-smoke
Right thro' the line they broke;
Cossack & Russian
Reel'd from the sabre-stroke,
Shatter'd & sunder'd.
Then they rode back, but not
Not the six hundred.






Cannon to right of them,
Cannon to left of them,
Cannon behind them
Volley'd and thunder'd;
Storm'd at with shot and shell,
While horse & hero fell,
They that had fought so well
Came thro' the jaws of Death,
Back from the mouth of Hell,
All that was left of them,
Left of six hundred.
When can their glory fade?
O the wild charge they made!
All the world wonder'd.


Honour the charge they made!
Honour the Light Brigade,
Noble six hundred!

This poem has a deep spiritual meaning to me. First of all, I have a strong sense of injustice when it comes to myself. It states how the six hundred knew that the commander was in err. there greatest asset was they knew two major virtues : Courage and Honor. Two virtues that Christians need. Courage to stand up against the evil of one of our greatest enemies: SELF. And in the face of the valley of death,though it seems our hope is gone, we press on. to Honor. We lose our self  in the journey. All that matters is to fight for our Commander,Christ. The commander who is not in err. Christ leads us to freedom from the slavery of  this world to becoming sons and daughters of him.

Another Hard Day...

Yesterday and today were very tense days. I have been feeling a little sick,so I my stresses were majorly magnified. We were very busy at work and the  tension really messed me up. I know that God is drawing close when days like today happen. It means my flesh is  getting destroyed and God can have his way. Anyways...on a more positive note, the day started out fairly well. Shammah talked about how the scriptures are often translated as "the end all" of  The Word. In truth, it is only part of God's words and he allows us to be the continuation of his life. Jesus Christ is The Word and we are his body. Anyone who is his disciple is part of history. We fufill his word with our daily life!  I hope one day I'll really have the faith needed to live fully for Christ.

Hudson Taylor, one of my favorite people

I just finished a re-read of a Hudson Taylor autobiography entitled "Hudson Taylor, God's adventurer" It was an amazing story! His faith was amazing,throughout his life going through almost dying very young of malignant fever to almost being killed at sea,and more! God definately looked after him. He is one of my best inspirations of a person who really had a relationship with Jesus. I hope one day that the faith he had, God would allow in me. I have been reading and praying more this week for Chinese Christians and for God's work in his people.  Everyday been another step towards a closer relationship with Christ. This week God has been targeting the way I say things to people without thinking of the conscequences. So far it has been like climbing a mountain by trying to change the way I've been for years. I believe that God can change anyone, even me! So excited to see what the future holds.

Wisdom from Jeanne Guyon

I read a little out of Jeanne Guyon's "Intimacy with Christ." The passage I read was about how God deals with us to make us his own. She said that there are many situations we are put into AREN'T for making us stronger, but to weaken our resistance. He wants to make us like children that depend on their Father. "Truly I say to you, unless you are converted and become like children, you shall not enter the kingdom of heaven." (Matt.18:3)

This thought is far from most of adults these days. To be like a child? To be absolutely helpless? It is truly a hard pill be swallow for us individaually oriented people. We want to be able to look strong, our prayers even echo this. We pray that God give us strength to help others.His answer is usually that he sends circumstances that makes us feel helpless.We feel that God has abondoned us. We blame the Adversary's attacks.(He is just the messanger boy,but we forget!) I know this is not something I look as fun. Anyways, I thought I'd just share this new step I came across today. I hope that I can learn this one day.

Another day...another lesson

Yesterday was a lesson . Work was highly intense and when I got home, I had the night all planned out, I was going to drop my friend off at his play practice, drive to Lowes and pick up a replacement door, drive home, and after all that craziness...go out and watch the new "Christmas Carol" in theaters. Once again, God usually laughs at me at this point. When I did get home, I remembered  that I was on dinner clean-up. I was sorta bummed out at this point, but did the job anyways with a small amount of faith that I would be able to pick up the door. Half way through clean-up,one of the ladies volunteered to finish for me. I was able to pick  up the door in enough time. This experience was a lesson to me once again the miniscule amount of faith that I have and how much the Father loves and takes care of his children. He works in ways that are not bound by personality,time, or circumstances. WOW!

"Don't compare yourselves with yourselves"

I have heard the saying about not comparing yourself with others, for you are who you are  and can only do what God gave you the grace to do.Let me give a couple examples.When I first moved from Florida to Tennessee, my friends were in an Irish dance troupe called Winddance (to see information go to danceonthewind.com) I thought that if they could do it,so could I. I think I was born with two left feet. That hope lasted a year. Another example is my first job. When I started painting, I worked along side my friend Brian. I thought we both had the same skill level, so when he was able to paint with a paint brush,and I was "the brush cleaner" I was a little upset. So, when I first got a paintbrush in my hand, I obviously thought I could paint (LOL for anyone who knows my paint stories). I have a partial genetic defect; I am clumsy. If there was a bucket of paint on a dropcloth over a driveway, I'd somehow manage getting it all over! I'd have times when my brain "shut off." For instance I'd have a highly corossive rag of lacquer thinner and I'd put it on a finished surface. Well..you get the picture. I was always doing things that weren't  for me. I recently joined  the Rose Creek Village  Shorinji Ryu Karate-do dojo (for info on shorinji-ryu see shorinjiryukaratedo.com). My Sensei, Master Thomas Cauley taught us this week that we must do karate (pronounced karatae) in our own speed. Just like in Christian life, we must care about the journey just as much as the destination. We must live for Christ with everything we have right in the moment. For in doing what the Father created us he made unique. Living outside the mold.