Francis Chan's thoughts/ New Book!

This is worth a look at. I watched it yesterday via a friend and thought it was VERY relevant to what is going on in discussions these days.

New look

I decided to do a template change, so I'll be trying to find one that'll best fit. It has almost been a year since this blog was started. I can tell you that God has done many things in everyone that I know. Most of them are absolutely amazing. My prayer for this year is that he would continue what he is doing in my life, making others more important to me than even myself. Because honestly, I love myself. It makes a sort of nausea to hit my stomach how true this is.

Obsessed by God

Can you honestly say that the consideration of God fills every waking thought? I know that I can't. I tend to have things that are more important than God. Things that feel my day and push me further away from God. One of them is how much time I spend on the computer each day (Meaning this won't be a long post.).I consider time with God to be a chore. It is something I do to keep my day going well, to fulfill some "quota,"or only when I truly need something. Getting stuck in doing just enough is like what the Jews did with the law. We tend to strive to give God our "leftovers" in the words of Francis Chan. We give God only whats required, then wonder why we feel so empty of the Spirit. The goal of Christ was to call us higher. We can never give enough, be humble enough, or praise him enough to satisfy him. He wants our all. He wants us to be so obsessed with him that we have to trust in him for our daily necessities. when Christ called his disciples, he told them not to go back for supplies for their trip. No extra money, tunic,or walking staff. This type of devotion caused the disciple to be intimate with God. He was forced to trust that the Lord would provide. In the story of Abraham, he had to rely on the fact that God would provide. What would have been like if Abraham had killed his son only to be mocked by others for having faith? Are we so afraid to have faith that God will provide for all of our needs? I know I have many times. When hard situations arise, I tend to get really anxious, forgetting what Christ has done for all who had faith in him before me. Becoming obsessed with God means letting go of all our anxieties and focusing on him, making every experience we go through cause us to want him more, to fall madly in  love with him. Like we were meant to do.I pray that he would do this in me. He is our provider and we are his delight.When you fall in love, like everyone knows, you don't need to be reminded to think about someone, they are on your mind all the time. You will no longer serve God because you have to, but because you are so deeply in love that not serving him would be crazy.

Awoken from a deep sleep.

Ever felt like you were missing something in your life? I am currently experiencing  this very thing. I started school last week, and have been running blind lately. I cannot tell you much more other than that I wake up some nights out of a dead-sleep feeling very weird. I truly hope none of this is complaining! I guess this is the best time to seek God the most. There is no way that that what's happening is an accident. It is God's hand on my life. I love to understand too much of what he is doing, that I don't trust him out of blind faith. This is the same faith that all disciples of Christ must have. Being with the people of God is for me like being raised from the dead(In theory). First, you of course, are DEAD. No question about that. You hear a voice that tells you to wake up. You have this weird feeling as hands touch your heart, all of a sudden they squeeze. Your heart slowly starts,but one problem, no life blood. You feel empty. The voice then connects a itself to you, and you start to feel... warmth. All of your organs start to work, but you GASP....No Air! Then as if on cue, the voice breathes in your lungs. As you try to wake up you realize that you can't. Your  eyes refuse to open. And the voice says "In time." "Just be patient, you need help." You feel hands touch your eyelids..then all of a sudden, a blinding light floods your pupils. When your eyes adjust, You see not one face, but MANY! This is how it has been for me. It takes the hands of Christ through brothers and sisters around me to bring me to life. They are how God reaches this living creature called Benjamyn. Well hope this made sense and was not complaining.

Wow moment

I just started my first class at University of Tennessee(Selmer branch) tonight. I really could not believe I was there to tell you the truth. Nothing in me should have had the nerve to go through with enrolling. I truly know that it was God that helped me to be able to get everything together for my registration. I mean, I was within a week of not being able to go  because I would have missed the deadline. But, since a friend (Amy Pennington) told me that school started January 19th vs. my thought of sometime in March, I made it. My class tonight was Visual Art,which is amazing in it's self, but not half as much as having a friend in that class with me! I got to see Ken S. in my class tonight, so I knew God was backing me up. I am very happy that I am able to do things with God's people. If tomorrow brings me losing my grant or anything else God may send, I feel that it would be his will. For the moment, I really enjoy having this opportunity to expand my knowledge and to hopefully become clay in the Potter's hands with my direction towards a medical field.

I really hope that I can pass this experience on to others. God wants to use us for his purpose, but he needs us to give up hope that we can do it for him and to know that the only way God uses us is if we allow ourselves to be directed by him. He allows us to be a tool in his work, for he is the hands we need to move at all! Just like Mother Theresa stated " I am only a pencil in the hand of Christ." I  hope to remember that for years to come. For it is not what we can do for Christ, but what he does through us and in us that matters most in his kingdom.That's my thoughts for tonight, I hope it didn't sound too lofty....because God really shows the fruit the day we least expect the test."POP QUIZ!" LOL...I hope that helped lighten it up a little!:-)

All for the King

Today I just want to say how much I love being a part of the people of God. There is nothing in me that deserves at all to be a child of the King! I am so humbled by how  much he cares for us. God brought back my short-fused temper this week...which shocked me, because I truly thought that I was headed away from this. It seems like God had gotten all that was visible to me out of the way, then started on digging at my soul. I read something in Fenelon's Seeking Heart that God does not go after what doesn't react to his touch...It's dead, and cannot fight against his will! He prods our sensitive spots to cause us to be shown who we are down inside. He works until we are absolutely worn out. The cross targets all that is alive to kill our old self. When we do die to our selfish wants, dreams, and desires (.....yes, even those that are for him!),we become still-like  in him. This is when he raises our spirit. We may look the same, have the same defects, but they aren't full of sin. We become like Adam and Eve before sin entered the garden. We look to Jesus for our direction and no longer depend on our self or for that matter, trust self. We are made perfect in the creator's eyes...by the only way we can be, through Christ. We become a true part of Christ when empty of ourselves. Me devoid of self. I hope that I didn't sound lofty with any of this, and would like anyone who feels that way to approach me. I thank God that he works on his children to make us want to  grow up to be like him.Best of all, he is with us all the way! To the end....

Empty

I am not sure what to write in this post....Normally God hits a certain subject in my life that gives me an idea. I would really like to blog at least once a week, so I will have to seek God on what to write each time.

I truly feel that without God I'd be a wreck. Well, truth be told, he has wrecked me anyways. I know what your thinking...sounds counter-productive...right?  You would be right if it were any other relationship. One of God's goals is to make us a wreak. He wants us to be absolutely dependent on him and HIM ALONE. God has shown me a lot of this with the relationship with my Dad. For about 5 years now, we have been working on having a close relationship. Even with all the effort, we both seem like we are from different planets. We have a hard time talking sometimes, and have gotten through a major amount of situations together. Without God, we may not have had anything to do with each other.According to human standards, we were hopeless. God wanted us to need him. He alone could help us....not any effort that we tried.Our selves just get in the way By the grace of God,we both live among brothers and sisters in Christ  who have helped pull down God for us many a time, and  are headed toward a great friendship.As with all great friendships, it takes waking up every single day,  forgetting one's self to think of the other person. I really have started feeling a love for my Dad that wasn't there before. It is a miracle! Anyone who knows us both knows this to be true

We need to be emptied of ourselves to be filled up with Christ. If there is even the smallest amount of self, we need to ask  Jesus Christ to empty us of our self. A person devoid of self is like a vacuum for the Spirit of Christ. Hopefully we all can get to the point that we cannot truly live without Christ. I know I'm definitely not fully there yet...just  beginning.

Another Hard Day...

Yesterday and today were very tense days. I have been feeling a little sick,so I my stresses were majorly magnified. We were very busy at work and the  tension really messed me up. I know that God is drawing close when days like today happen. It means my flesh is  getting destroyed and God can have his way. Anyways...on a more positive note, the day started out fairly well. Shammah talked about how the scriptures are often translated as "the end all" of  The Word. In truth, it is only part of God's words and he allows us to be the continuation of his life. Jesus Christ is The Word and we are his body. Anyone who is his disciple is part of history. We fufill his word with our daily life!  I hope one day I'll really have the faith needed to live fully for Christ.

Hudson Taylor, one of my favorite people

I just finished a re-read of a Hudson Taylor autobiography entitled "Hudson Taylor, God's adventurer" It was an amazing story! His faith was amazing,throughout his life going through almost dying very young of malignant fever to almost being killed at sea,and more! God definately looked after him. He is one of my best inspirations of a person who really had a relationship with Jesus. I hope one day that the faith he had, God would allow in me. I have been reading and praying more this week for Chinese Christians and for God's work in his people.  Everyday been another step towards a closer relationship with Christ. This week God has been targeting the way I say things to people without thinking of the conscequences. So far it has been like climbing a mountain by trying to change the way I've been for years. I believe that God can change anyone, even me! So excited to see what the future holds.

Another day...another lesson

Yesterday was a lesson . Work was highly intense and when I got home, I had the night all planned out, I was going to drop my friend off at his play practice, drive to Lowes and pick up a replacement door, drive home, and after all that craziness...go out and watch the new "Christmas Carol" in theaters. Once again, God usually laughs at me at this point. When I did get home, I remembered  that I was on dinner clean-up. I was sorta bummed out at this point, but did the job anyways with a small amount of faith that I would be able to pick up the door. Half way through clean-up,one of the ladies volunteered to finish for me. I was able to pick  up the door in enough time. This experience was a lesson to me once again the miniscule amount of faith that I have and how much the Father loves and takes care of his children. He works in ways that are not bound by personality,time, or circumstances. WOW!