Our purpose

I'm pretty full tonight. I just got through my first (of this year) "two people meeting" an hour ago. It was very enlightening. The facts don't matter of how I got there, the exciting thing is what I got out of it.
  
  First of all, I wanted to share something I've been thinking about lately.I have been wearing a ring on my wedding finger for about a week now. People ask me why, but until now I've held out. The ring helps remind me that the relationship that Christ started with me (others as well) is like a marriage. I am unmarried by the world's standards, but I'm joined to Christ in the standards that really count. I'm reminded to keep my thoughts about how I can please him. It's a radical idea, but big changes  are caused by little steps.

Anyways, back to what I learned. I was reminded how Christ called us not to live how we want to, do what ever we dream of, or even feel happy all of the time. He wants to totally destroy our lives, make us ask for death, and to hunger for him. When we truly are emptied of our reputations, pride,and emotional stabilities (for myself) he pours himself into us. We then find out that all of our pain,struggles, and hard times are for one thing. To rid us of everything but him. We are become like a child. The more time we spend with him, the more we are fulfilled. Separation becomes our fear. He becomes our all in all and we desire nothing else. Even in our low times, he is right there. It is such an amazing God we serve!

Awoken from a deep sleep.

Ever felt like you were missing something in your life? I am currently experiencing  this very thing. I started school last week, and have been running blind lately. I cannot tell you much more other than that I wake up some nights out of a dead-sleep feeling very weird. I truly hope none of this is complaining! I guess this is the best time to seek God the most. There is no way that that what's happening is an accident. It is God's hand on my life. I love to understand too much of what he is doing, that I don't trust him out of blind faith. This is the same faith that all disciples of Christ must have. Being with the people of God is for me like being raised from the dead(In theory). First, you of course, are DEAD. No question about that. You hear a voice that tells you to wake up. You have this weird feeling as hands touch your heart, all of a sudden they squeeze. Your heart slowly starts,but one problem, no life blood. You feel empty. The voice then connects a itself to you, and you start to feel... warmth. All of your organs start to work, but you GASP....No Air! Then as if on cue, the voice breathes in your lungs. As you try to wake up you realize that you can't. Your  eyes refuse to open. And the voice says "In time." "Just be patient, you need help." You feel hands touch your eyelids..then all of a sudden, a blinding light floods your pupils. When your eyes adjust, You see not one face, but MANY! This is how it has been for me. It takes the hands of Christ through brothers and sisters around me to bring me to life. They are how God reaches this living creature called Benjamyn. Well hope this made sense and was not complaining.

From Spiritual infancy to adolesence

 I have been thinking about my relationship with Christ. He called his disciples to leave everything. Their families,jobs,lives and to follow him. After Christ ascended, they we They were lost until Christ's spirit fell on them. They didn't know what to do. They had become separated from their own lives. After Christ spirit fell on them, they didn't jump up and evangelize. It took persecution to spread the seed of the gospel throughout the "lost sheep of the house of Israel" and eventually the Gentiles. 

Jesus calls us today to follow. He tells us that we must leave all, only to become connected to himself alone. At first, our relationship is like that of an infant. Christ feeds us and we are swaddled in his love. His promises are wondrous and  we are usually full of zeal. But we are not able to stay here. 

Whether it takes months, years, or decades we eventually move on to the next stage. I think I have just gotten to this point.He wants to cause us to be his alone. We then  step into the "adolescence" of our relationship with Christ. I have felt that this is probably the hardest time in our walk with Christ. Zeal starts to run out, we start to really feel the consequences of truly following, and  Christ's promises seem distant to us. In this time, we truly find out that it is not our steps in our own strength that help. It can even be a hindrance for us to succeed in our way. We need God most in this stage.It is our dependence on him alone and not his promises to us. 

Hopefully this post doesn't sound mixed up....I cannot think clearly right now. I feel that moving only to be an extension of Christ, not what we feel we want to do for him, but what he will do through us.

  

 

  

Wisdom from Jeanne Guyon

I read a little out of Jeanne Guyon's "Intimacy with Christ." The passage I read was about how God deals with us to make us his own. She said that there are many situations we are put into AREN'T for making us stronger, but to weaken our resistance. He wants to make us like children that depend on their Father. "Truly I say to you, unless you are converted and become like children, you shall not enter the kingdom of heaven." (Matt.18:3)

This thought is far from most of adults these days. To be like a child? To be absolutely helpless? It is truly a hard pill be swallow for us individaually oriented people. We want to be able to look strong, our prayers even echo this. We pray that God give us strength to help others.His answer is usually that he sends circumstances that makes us feel helpless.We feel that God has abondoned us. We blame the Adversary's attacks.(He is just the messanger boy,but we forget!) I know this is not something I look as fun. Anyways, I thought I'd just share this new step I came across today. I hope that I can learn this one day.

Another day...another lesson

Yesterday was a lesson . Work was highly intense and when I got home, I had the night all planned out, I was going to drop my friend off at his play practice, drive to Lowes and pick up a replacement door, drive home, and after all that craziness...go out and watch the new "Christmas Carol" in theaters. Once again, God usually laughs at me at this point. When I did get home, I remembered  that I was on dinner clean-up. I was sorta bummed out at this point, but did the job anyways with a small amount of faith that I would be able to pick up the door. Half way through clean-up,one of the ladies volunteered to finish for me. I was able to pick  up the door in enough time. This experience was a lesson to me once again the miniscule amount of faith that I have and how much the Father loves and takes care of his children. He works in ways that are not bound by personality,time, or circumstances. WOW!

Learning a new way

Well, hopefully this whole blog will be more of  sharing the journey of becoming intimate with Christ. I would love to hear others experiences with God.  I have been reading some of Madame Guyon's writings week( so far I've read  through Experiencing the depths of Jesus Christ,Union with God,and Final steps in Christian Maturity. I would have to say these are very deep and I used to not be able to understand what she is saying. Her basic point throughout these books is becoming like the woman fom Song of Solomon in the Bible. To go from our need of feeling God's presence, to having a relationship with him at all times,eve when it seems he has abondoned us. If  you like novels, Hannah Hurnard's Hinds feet on High Places explains this very well fro those who are visual like me. Well, anyway I'm full. God is emptying me of the way I think He should be. Just like MuchAfraid, he is bringing me to himself.
 Thanks for reading!
Benjamyn Michael Wilson

First Post

Hi,
I started this blog in hopes of trying to share about learning how to get close to God. I am not claiming at all that I know ANYTHING about this! All I know is that I want to share what I am learning and hear about others experiences with Christ. Hopefully, we can find others to share with and help change "Generation X." Please feel free to leave imput!