A great poem from Union And Communion or Thoughts on the Song of Solomon by Hudson Taylor

The living Vine, Christ chose it for Himself
— God gave to man for use and sustenance
Corn, wine, and oil, and each of these is good:
And Christ is Bread of life and Light of life.
But yet, He did not choose the summer corn,
 That shoots up straight and free in one quick growth.
 And has its day, is done, and springs no more;
 Nor yet the olive, all whose boughs are spread In the soft air,
and never lose a leaf,
 Flowering and fruitful in perpetual peace;

But only this, for Him and His is one,—
 That everlasting, ever-quickening Vine,
 That gives the heat and passion of the world,
 Through its own life-blood, still renewed and shed.
 * * * * * *
 The Vine from every living limb bleeds wine;
Is it the poorer for that spirit shed?
The drunkard and the wanton drink thereof;
 Are they the richer for that gift's excess?
Measure thy life by loss instead of gain;
 Not by the wine drunk,
 but the wine poured forth;
 For love's strength standeth in love's sacrifice
; And whoso suffers most, hath most to give.

Taylor, James Hudson (2006). Union And Communion or Thoughts on the Song of Solomon (p. 65). Public Domain Books. Kindle Edition.

The three relationships..

 This isn't a new  idea but it seemed like a good idea to post on. 


In our walk with Christ, we have three different stages of relationship: stranger, friend,and beloved. Each of these have a different intimacy level, different pains and trials we go through, and deeper joys as we draw closer to Christ. This is one of my thoughts, not necessarily a fact with everyone.




First, we enter the stranger phase with Christ.It is also the point we are servants.This is like being in the outer courts. We only hear what is going on inside. This is sometimes the point we hear about Him, but not always have much experience ourselves. In this stage we are often drawn to Christ fort different reasons. Some for curiosity,hope in a hard time, or many other reasons. We aren't really close to Christ and it is sometimes easy just to walk away. But if we stay, he calls us to become friends.




I do not call you servants any longer, because the servant does not know what the master is doing; but I have called you friends, because I have made known to you everything that I have heard from my father. --John 15:15
In the friend stage, we are called to really hear him for ourselves. It is like when the priest entered the inner courts. We get to partake of the feast of his bounty.He speaks to us like he did the disciples. The hardships we go through are like that of the disciples. We must leave our own lives and follow. We often get discouraged because we may have to leave our family and friends to do so. This stage is probably one of great joy and like climbing a  spiritual mountain as well. Then after a while we are thrown into the furnace like gold to be purified....into lovers. 


Into the gems of his delight.As the beloved we lose ourselves. All we are is a reflection of the Lover of All. The pain of leaving his side is absolutely unbearable. This place is both frightening and exciting at the same time. Frightening since we are totally exposed. Exciting because we are exposed to the one who really loves. It is the Holy of Holies to be a beloved. 

Our purpose

I'm pretty full tonight. I just got through my first (of this year) "two people meeting" an hour ago. It was very enlightening. The facts don't matter of how I got there, the exciting thing is what I got out of it.
  
  First of all, I wanted to share something I've been thinking about lately.I have been wearing a ring on my wedding finger for about a week now. People ask me why, but until now I've held out. The ring helps remind me that the relationship that Christ started with me (others as well) is like a marriage. I am unmarried by the world's standards, but I'm joined to Christ in the standards that really count. I'm reminded to keep my thoughts about how I can please him. It's a radical idea, but big changes  are caused by little steps.

Anyways, back to what I learned. I was reminded how Christ called us not to live how we want to, do what ever we dream of, or even feel happy all of the time. He wants to totally destroy our lives, make us ask for death, and to hunger for him. When we truly are emptied of our reputations, pride,and emotional stabilities (for myself) he pours himself into us. We then find out that all of our pain,struggles, and hard times are for one thing. To rid us of everything but him. We are become like a child. The more time we spend with him, the more we are fulfilled. Separation becomes our fear. He becomes our all in all and we desire nothing else. Even in our low times, he is right there. It is such an amazing God we serve!

Obsessed by God

Can you honestly say that the consideration of God fills every waking thought? I know that I can't. I tend to have things that are more important than God. Things that feel my day and push me further away from God. One of them is how much time I spend on the computer each day (Meaning this won't be a long post.).I consider time with God to be a chore. It is something I do to keep my day going well, to fulfill some "quota,"or only when I truly need something. Getting stuck in doing just enough is like what the Jews did with the law. We tend to strive to give God our "leftovers" in the words of Francis Chan. We give God only whats required, then wonder why we feel so empty of the Spirit. The goal of Christ was to call us higher. We can never give enough, be humble enough, or praise him enough to satisfy him. He wants our all. He wants us to be so obsessed with him that we have to trust in him for our daily necessities. when Christ called his disciples, he told them not to go back for supplies for their trip. No extra money, tunic,or walking staff. This type of devotion caused the disciple to be intimate with God. He was forced to trust that the Lord would provide. In the story of Abraham, he had to rely on the fact that God would provide. What would have been like if Abraham had killed his son only to be mocked by others for having faith? Are we so afraid to have faith that God will provide for all of our needs? I know I have many times. When hard situations arise, I tend to get really anxious, forgetting what Christ has done for all who had faith in him before me. Becoming obsessed with God means letting go of all our anxieties and focusing on him, making every experience we go through cause us to want him more, to fall madly in  love with him. Like we were meant to do.I pray that he would do this in me. He is our provider and we are his delight.When you fall in love, like everyone knows, you don't need to be reminded to think about someone, they are on your mind all the time. You will no longer serve God because you have to, but because you are so deeply in love that not serving him would be crazy.

Awoken from a deep sleep.

Ever felt like you were missing something in your life? I am currently experiencing  this very thing. I started school last week, and have been running blind lately. I cannot tell you much more other than that I wake up some nights out of a dead-sleep feeling very weird. I truly hope none of this is complaining! I guess this is the best time to seek God the most. There is no way that that what's happening is an accident. It is God's hand on my life. I love to understand too much of what he is doing, that I don't trust him out of blind faith. This is the same faith that all disciples of Christ must have. Being with the people of God is for me like being raised from the dead(In theory). First, you of course, are DEAD. No question about that. You hear a voice that tells you to wake up. You have this weird feeling as hands touch your heart, all of a sudden they squeeze. Your heart slowly starts,but one problem, no life blood. You feel empty. The voice then connects a itself to you, and you start to feel... warmth. All of your organs start to work, but you GASP....No Air! Then as if on cue, the voice breathes in your lungs. As you try to wake up you realize that you can't. Your  eyes refuse to open. And the voice says "In time." "Just be patient, you need help." You feel hands touch your eyelids..then all of a sudden, a blinding light floods your pupils. When your eyes adjust, You see not one face, but MANY! This is how it has been for me. It takes the hands of Christ through brothers and sisters around me to bring me to life. They are how God reaches this living creature called Benjamyn. Well hope this made sense and was not complaining.

Wow moment

I just started my first class at University of Tennessee(Selmer branch) tonight. I really could not believe I was there to tell you the truth. Nothing in me should have had the nerve to go through with enrolling. I truly know that it was God that helped me to be able to get everything together for my registration. I mean, I was within a week of not being able to go  because I would have missed the deadline. But, since a friend (Amy Pennington) told me that school started January 19th vs. my thought of sometime in March, I made it. My class tonight was Visual Art,which is amazing in it's self, but not half as much as having a friend in that class with me! I got to see Ken S. in my class tonight, so I knew God was backing me up. I am very happy that I am able to do things with God's people. If tomorrow brings me losing my grant or anything else God may send, I feel that it would be his will. For the moment, I really enjoy having this opportunity to expand my knowledge and to hopefully become clay in the Potter's hands with my direction towards a medical field.

I really hope that I can pass this experience on to others. God wants to use us for his purpose, but he needs us to give up hope that we can do it for him and to know that the only way God uses us is if we allow ourselves to be directed by him. He allows us to be a tool in his work, for he is the hands we need to move at all! Just like Mother Theresa stated " I am only a pencil in the hand of Christ." I  hope to remember that for years to come. For it is not what we can do for Christ, but what he does through us and in us that matters most in his kingdom.That's my thoughts for tonight, I hope it didn't sound too lofty....because God really shows the fruit the day we least expect the test."POP QUIZ!" LOL...I hope that helped lighten it up a little!:-)

Empty

I am not sure what to write in this post....Normally God hits a certain subject in my life that gives me an idea. I would really like to blog at least once a week, so I will have to seek God on what to write each time.

I truly feel that without God I'd be a wreck. Well, truth be told, he has wrecked me anyways. I know what your thinking...sounds counter-productive...right?  You would be right if it were any other relationship. One of God's goals is to make us a wreak. He wants us to be absolutely dependent on him and HIM ALONE. God has shown me a lot of this with the relationship with my Dad. For about 5 years now, we have been working on having a close relationship. Even with all the effort, we both seem like we are from different planets. We have a hard time talking sometimes, and have gotten through a major amount of situations together. Without God, we may not have had anything to do with each other.According to human standards, we were hopeless. God wanted us to need him. He alone could help us....not any effort that we tried.Our selves just get in the way By the grace of God,we both live among brothers and sisters in Christ  who have helped pull down God for us many a time, and  are headed toward a great friendship.As with all great friendships, it takes waking up every single day,  forgetting one's self to think of the other person. I really have started feeling a love for my Dad that wasn't there before. It is a miracle! Anyone who knows us both knows this to be true

We need to be emptied of ourselves to be filled up with Christ. If there is even the smallest amount of self, we need to ask  Jesus Christ to empty us of our self. A person devoid of self is like a vacuum for the Spirit of Christ. Hopefully we all can get to the point that we cannot truly live without Christ. I know I'm definitely not fully there yet...just  beginning.

A few of my poems

"What sort of God"

What sort of God would create a creature

who would come to despise his name,

What sort of king would take his servants

to become his sons and daughters,

What sort of master would take
the place of criminals and thieves,

And bear the pain of  their sins
on his shoulders?

Only for the few?

This love  is deep,
it is inhuman love

It contains all things,
Above all,
the absolute loss of  self.

A freedom from the chains
of depression and guilt.

"A Prayer of praise"

The greatest thing your disciple's life can do,
is point to you!

You gave us a will,
a gift we can give,

Your death was not your only sacrifice,
for your love is greater than that of your messengers.

Your word is your life you left us to live,
you tread the path
and you point the way.

You are all in all,
A shepherd with us all the way

Another Hard Day...

Yesterday and today were very tense days. I have been feeling a little sick,so I my stresses were majorly magnified. We were very busy at work and the  tension really messed me up. I know that God is drawing close when days like today happen. It means my flesh is  getting destroyed and God can have his way. Anyways...on a more positive note, the day started out fairly well. Shammah talked about how the scriptures are often translated as "the end all" of  The Word. In truth, it is only part of God's words and he allows us to be the continuation of his life. Jesus Christ is The Word and we are his body. Anyone who is his disciple is part of history. We fufill his word with our daily life!  I hope one day I'll really have the faith needed to live fully for Christ.