Missing Him

"I slept, but my heart was awake,

when I heard my lover knocking and calling:

“Open to me, my treasure, my darling,

my dove, my perfect one.

My head is drenched with dew,

my hair with the dampness of the night.”

But I responded,

“I have taken off my robe.

Should I get dressed again?

I have washed my feet.

Should I get them soiled?”

My lover tried to unlatch the door,

and my heart thrilled within me.

I jumped up to open the door for my love,

and my hands dripped with perfume.

My fingers dripped with lovely myrrh

as I pulled back the bolt.

I opened to my lover,

but he was gone!

My heart sank.

I searched for him

but could not find him anywhere.

I called to him,

but there was no reply."     - Song of Solomon 5:2-6

For each disciple, the journey often takes different routes, but for anyone who seeks to fall in love with Christ, in the intimate way, we find that often, when he calls,we have something we want to do and we reply "I have taken off my robe.Should I get dressed again? I have washed my feet. Should I get them soiled?” Just like the woman in the story, we give excuses why we cannot answer the call. When we hear him trying to enter our heart, as we try to let him in, he seems to disappear. We are left with the feeling that we were abandoned. Like Christ on the cross, we ask "My God why have you forsaken me?" This experience draws us closer to the  lover of our soul. It also teaches us to answer him quicker. Christ is multi-dimensional. When we think we know why he allows something to happen to us, and even if we see a small benefit a little later down the road, he uses the experience for many other reasons. The thought that comes to mind, is that the will of God is like a diamond, when you look at one side,you don't see the entire gem; you must turn it around in your hand and look at each facet. That is the way God shows us the effects of how our obedience, suffering, and self-denying actions effect others and even our own life.  He wants to be near us, and longs to make us just like him. Such love he has for us!