All for the King

Today I just want to say how much I love being a part of the people of God. There is nothing in me that deserves at all to be a child of the King! I am so humbled by how  much he cares for us. God brought back my short-fused temper this week...which shocked me, because I truly thought that I was headed away from this. It seems like God had gotten all that was visible to me out of the way, then started on digging at my soul. I read something in Fenelon's Seeking Heart that God does not go after what doesn't react to his touch...It's dead, and cannot fight against his will! He prods our sensitive spots to cause us to be shown who we are down inside. He works until we are absolutely worn out. The cross targets all that is alive to kill our old self. When we do die to our selfish wants, dreams, and desires (.....yes, even those that are for him!),we become still-like  in him. This is when he raises our spirit. We may look the same, have the same defects, but they aren't full of sin. We become like Adam and Eve before sin entered the garden. We look to Jesus for our direction and no longer depend on our self or for that matter, trust self. We are made perfect in the creator's eyes...by the only way we can be, through Christ. We become a true part of Christ when empty of ourselves. Me devoid of self. I hope that I didn't sound lofty with any of this, and would like anyone who feels that way to approach me. I thank God that he works on his children to make us want to  grow up to be like him.Best of all, he is with us all the way! To the end....

Empty

I am not sure what to write in this post....Normally God hits a certain subject in my life that gives me an idea. I would really like to blog at least once a week, so I will have to seek God on what to write each time.

I truly feel that without God I'd be a wreck. Well, truth be told, he has wrecked me anyways. I know what your thinking...sounds counter-productive...right?  You would be right if it were any other relationship. One of God's goals is to make us a wreak. He wants us to be absolutely dependent on him and HIM ALONE. God has shown me a lot of this with the relationship with my Dad. For about 5 years now, we have been working on having a close relationship. Even with all the effort, we both seem like we are from different planets. We have a hard time talking sometimes, and have gotten through a major amount of situations together. Without God, we may not have had anything to do with each other.According to human standards, we were hopeless. God wanted us to need him. He alone could help us....not any effort that we tried.Our selves just get in the way By the grace of God,we both live among brothers and sisters in Christ  who have helped pull down God for us many a time, and  are headed toward a great friendship.As with all great friendships, it takes waking up every single day,  forgetting one's self to think of the other person. I really have started feeling a love for my Dad that wasn't there before. It is a miracle! Anyone who knows us both knows this to be true

We need to be emptied of ourselves to be filled up with Christ. If there is even the smallest amount of self, we need to ask  Jesus Christ to empty us of our self. A person devoid of self is like a vacuum for the Spirit of Christ. Hopefully we all can get to the point that we cannot truly live without Christ. I know I'm definitely not fully there yet...just  beginning.

Relationship with God

When you think of a relationship with God, what comes to mind? Praying to him when you are in need? Spending time studying the scriptures? Dedicating time to thinking about him during your daily life?  I've been reading "The Spiritual Guide" by Miguel Molinos. He talks  about a deep relationship with Christ. One in which d we learn to be devoted to Christ no matter the situation. Molinos talks about the Divine love of Christ, in which God seemingly turns his back on us, and we are made to suffer with ourselves.We sacrifice our lives to Christ devoid of  self-worth in our offering.But behind it all, God is joyful and happy. We may feel God has left us, that our prayers go seemingly unanswered, and we are left to our flaws and desires. Molinos states that God uses this time to purify us. God makes us love-sick for him. So that we wait on him at all times and wish only to do  his will. I hope one day I could be like this.

From Spiritual infancy to adolesence

 I have been thinking about my relationship with Christ. He called his disciples to leave everything. Their families,jobs,lives and to follow him. After Christ ascended, they we They were lost until Christ's spirit fell on them. They didn't know what to do. They had become separated from their own lives. After Christ spirit fell on them, they didn't jump up and evangelize. It took persecution to spread the seed of the gospel throughout the "lost sheep of the house of Israel" and eventually the Gentiles. 

Jesus calls us today to follow. He tells us that we must leave all, only to become connected to himself alone. At first, our relationship is like that of an infant. Christ feeds us and we are swaddled in his love. His promises are wondrous and  we are usually full of zeal. But we are not able to stay here. 

Whether it takes months, years, or decades we eventually move on to the next stage. I think I have just gotten to this point.He wants to cause us to be his alone. We then  step into the "adolescence" of our relationship with Christ. I have felt that this is probably the hardest time in our walk with Christ. Zeal starts to run out, we start to really feel the consequences of truly following, and  Christ's promises seem distant to us. In this time, we truly find out that it is not our steps in our own strength that help. It can even be a hindrance for us to succeed in our way. We need God most in this stage.It is our dependence on him alone and not his promises to us. 

Hopefully this post doesn't sound mixed up....I cannot think clearly right now. I feel that moving only to be an extension of Christ, not what we feel we want to do for him, but what he will do through us.

  

 

  

A few of my poems

"What sort of God"

What sort of God would create a creature

who would come to despise his name,

What sort of king would take his servants

to become his sons and daughters,

What sort of master would take
the place of criminals and thieves,

And bear the pain of  their sins
on his shoulders?

Only for the few?

This love  is deep,
it is inhuman love

It contains all things,
Above all,
the absolute loss of  self.

A freedom from the chains
of depression and guilt.

"A Prayer of praise"

The greatest thing your disciple's life can do,
is point to you!

You gave us a will,
a gift we can give,

Your death was not your only sacrifice,
for your love is greater than that of your messengers.

Your word is your life you left us to live,
you tread the path
and you point the way.

You are all in all,
A shepherd with us all the way

A thought/ The light brigade

I watched an awesome movie last night. It was called " The Blind Side."
It is the story of how a big black kid nicknamed "Big Mike" (Michael Orly) went from the slums of Memphis to semi-pro NCAA football star. My favorite part was the famous  poem   Charge of the light brigade.


The Charge Of The Light Brigade
by Alfred, Lord Tennyson
Memorializing Events in the Battle of Balaclava, October 25, 1854


Written 1854


Half a league half a league,
Half a league onward,
All in the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred:
'Forward, the Light Brigade!
Charge for the guns' he said:
Into the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.

'Forward, the Light Brigade!'
Was there a man dismay'd ?
Not tho' the soldier knew
Some one had blunder'd:
Theirs not to make reply,
Theirs not to reason why,
Theirs but to do & die,
Into the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.


Cannon to right of them,
Cannon to left of them,
Cannon in front of them
Volley'd & thunder'd;
Storm'd at with shot and shell,
Boldly they rode and well,
Into the jaws of Death,
Into the mouth of Hell
Rode the six hundred.


Flash'd all their sabres bare,
Flash'd as they turn'd in air
Sabring the gunners there,
Charging an army while
All the world wonder'd:


Plunged in the battery-smoke
Right thro' the line they broke;
Cossack & Russian
Reel'd from the sabre-stroke,
Shatter'd & sunder'd.
Then they rode back, but not
Not the six hundred.






Cannon to right of them,
Cannon to left of them,
Cannon behind them
Volley'd and thunder'd;
Storm'd at with shot and shell,
While horse & hero fell,
They that had fought so well
Came thro' the jaws of Death,
Back from the mouth of Hell,
All that was left of them,
Left of six hundred.
When can their glory fade?
O the wild charge they made!
All the world wonder'd.


Honour the charge they made!
Honour the Light Brigade,
Noble six hundred!

This poem has a deep spiritual meaning to me. First of all, I have a strong sense of injustice when it comes to myself. It states how the six hundred knew that the commander was in err. there greatest asset was they knew two major virtues : Courage and Honor. Two virtues that Christians need. Courage to stand up against the evil of one of our greatest enemies: SELF. And in the face of the valley of death,though it seems our hope is gone, we press on. to Honor. We lose our self  in the journey. All that matters is to fight for our Commander,Christ. The commander who is not in err. Christ leads us to freedom from the slavery of  this world to becoming sons and daughters of him.

Another Hard Day...

Yesterday and today were very tense days. I have been feeling a little sick,so I my stresses were majorly magnified. We were very busy at work and the  tension really messed me up. I know that God is drawing close when days like today happen. It means my flesh is  getting destroyed and God can have his way. Anyways...on a more positive note, the day started out fairly well. Shammah talked about how the scriptures are often translated as "the end all" of  The Word. In truth, it is only part of God's words and he allows us to be the continuation of his life. Jesus Christ is The Word and we are his body. Anyone who is his disciple is part of history. We fufill his word with our daily life!  I hope one day I'll really have the faith needed to live fully for Christ.