Hudson Taylor, one of my favorite people

I just finished a re-read of a Hudson Taylor autobiography entitled "Hudson Taylor, God's adventurer" It was an amazing story! His faith was amazing,throughout his life going through almost dying very young of malignant fever to almost being killed at sea,and more! God definately looked after him. He is one of my best inspirations of a person who really had a relationship with Jesus. I hope one day that the faith he had, God would allow in me. I have been reading and praying more this week for Chinese Christians and for God's work in his people.  Everyday been another step towards a closer relationship with Christ. This week God has been targeting the way I say things to people without thinking of the conscequences. So far it has been like climbing a mountain by trying to change the way I've been for years. I believe that God can change anyone, even me! So excited to see what the future holds.

Wisdom from Jeanne Guyon

I read a little out of Jeanne Guyon's "Intimacy with Christ." The passage I read was about how God deals with us to make us his own. She said that there are many situations we are put into AREN'T for making us stronger, but to weaken our resistance. He wants to make us like children that depend on their Father. "Truly I say to you, unless you are converted and become like children, you shall not enter the kingdom of heaven." (Matt.18:3)

This thought is far from most of adults these days. To be like a child? To be absolutely helpless? It is truly a hard pill be swallow for us individaually oriented people. We want to be able to look strong, our prayers even echo this. We pray that God give us strength to help others.His answer is usually that he sends circumstances that makes us feel helpless.We feel that God has abondoned us. We blame the Adversary's attacks.(He is just the messanger boy,but we forget!) I know this is not something I look as fun. Anyways, I thought I'd just share this new step I came across today. I hope that I can learn this one day.

my new nephew/ My sister's baby

                                                     My Nephew: Antonio Mark Lopez
                                                     Born 10/05/09 7lbs. 13 oz.
                        

This may sound controversal.

I came up with the idea for this post from a friend. I just recently read a webpage an old friend wrote. They had a dicussion on how "all they need is Jesus." I live in an intentional communty (for all non-RCV readers) in west Tennessee. I came to Rose Creek Village in 2005. My intentions were to be with my family(who were already here). Over the past 5 years God have changed all my desires,hopes,and dreams. I believe that the best thing for Christians is to be with others. For me, having the accountability keeps me from a lot of temption.Being with others can also cause you to find out more about yourself. What better way to see yourself than to "look in the mirror." I feel that most Christians cannot do this alone. There are those special few but I have never met one yet. A major plus side to being with people beyond Wednesday and Sunday is that Christ is better revealed through two or three gathered in his name. It is like having family that are not blood related, but become important all the same. You begin to grow deeper relationships and in the end, are a major part of your life.

Another day...another lesson

Yesterday was a lesson . Work was highly intense and when I got home, I had the night all planned out, I was going to drop my friend off at his play practice, drive to Lowes and pick up a replacement door, drive home, and after all that craziness...go out and watch the new "Christmas Carol" in theaters. Once again, God usually laughs at me at this point. When I did get home, I remembered  that I was on dinner clean-up. I was sorta bummed out at this point, but did the job anyways with a small amount of faith that I would be able to pick up the door. Half way through clean-up,one of the ladies volunteered to finish for me. I was able to pick  up the door in enough time. This experience was a lesson to me once again the miniscule amount of faith that I have and how much the Father loves and takes care of his children. He works in ways that are not bound by personality,time, or circumstances. WOW!

My Family ( part of it)

Brandon  age 19(my youngest brother)

At Brandon's Graduation

Me, My Dad, and Brandon

Truth revealed...

It seems like  God is starting to reveal even more how much I really need him. For the past 5 years, I had believed that I trusted Him, was starting to understand his way, and I could be an example of a servant.Once again, WRONG! He put me into situations where I could not see his face, my emotions totally betrayed me,and it seemed that no one understood me. He used people in my life to show me that behaviors that I thought I'd overcome,came crashing back on me.My short-tempered spirit rose up everytime my ego felt threatened, my "humility" turned out to be self-righteous arrogance,and my zeal for God was revealed as a deep rooted pride. When all of this was revealed, I felt that the world was crashing in on me, that God had left me to the mercy of my flesh,and I felt for the first time that I hated myself. Before this time, I'd said that my will was fully surrendered to God. He used all of the hard times(by the way, it's not over til' it's over!) to make a change in me. I am beginning to see the problems we see in others,the ones that really irritate us, are the very problems we have! It's absolutely humbling that Christ would die for such a person as me. The  Shepherd for the lost sheep.Though the beloved has not been faithful, has led others away from  The Way, and was the very hands that caused him pain.
I think I can sort of understand why Peter told Jesus " Get away from me,for I am a sinner!"

Benjamyn