Wednesday, September 5, 2012

I'm done waiting

Time to get a little vulnerable. As a single guy living in a community where at least 80%  of my friends are married, 60% of which are within 2 years of me in both directions...

I often find it a great struggle to focus. 

It is human nature to want intimacy with another person. A closeness that makes you feel wanted by one other person. 

I've seen MANY books for single women (read none) of 
how to wait for the ONE. 

Men are often left out to dry..
since we are supposed to initiate the relationship. 

But.... What happens if it doesn't happen? 

Even if there is a desire, prayer, and even trying to be ready?

While marriage is  very important to those who are blessed with it, 
we can get so wrapped up in thinking and "prepping ourselves" that  we  miss the point. This is the time in our lives where we can devote ourselves entirely to falling in love with God.

For men it becomes like a deer hunt: waiting and jumping at becomes an obsession. 

God created us for  closeness with one another,sharing our life, and to live for the other.. 

Doesn't it sound sorta familiar? 

God created us to echo heaven. 

In the "Lord's prayer" it says ON EARTH AS IT IS IN HEAVEN! 

Paul talks about this in Corinthians 7:7
"Yet I wish that all men were even as I myself am. However, each man has his own gift from God, one in this manner, and another in that." 

I am not for holding out anymore. I cannot do it anymore. I have to move on. The desire has been absolutely paralyzing to me.

To sum up this whole thought in a few words it would be "Falling in Love with God above all" 

It is something that is missing from ALL marriages that go awry. 

To love God means loving that person in front of you whether it is your spouse,brother, sister, or  even YOUR WORST ENEMY more than you treat yourself! 

In the process of allowing yourself to feel God's love for you, you will then overflow & pour that love on others.

For those who have no spouse, it is easier in a way: putting God first before desires, giving your future to Him, and making Him your desire. 

It is both a scary and exciting thing to give your entire future to God. It means He does what HE wants. Is able to fashion you into a tool of His design. 

Then...when you are set in another person's life and them in yours, He'll be the center of the union. He is of course to be our first love. The one which all loves are meant to reflect. 

I could go on for hours, so I'll just leave you with that. I may need to write an eBook to share what God is working out in me. I'll truly enjoy Him revealing things in the days ahead, since life is about the valley and not the mountain-top.


  1. This ppst is such a vast difference between one desiring God or self. And Bless you Nen for seeking the heart of God for your life.

  2. Hi Benjamyn. I determined to live single for the rest of my life when I was about 24. I even wrote my parents about it.

    1. I've been at both extremes( staying single forever and wanting to find the One) just in the past 3 years. I even thought I knew who the 'one' was. After reading the post that gracefortheroad wrote about not waiting, I've decided not to try for either. I believe that focusing on trying to 'be' takes away from being. Though I find that falling in love with God causes ripples. I believe that love poured down through people from the throne doesn't fail. That is what causes our love for the bretheren to flourish. God prepares our heart better than anyone. The Spirit is proof.