Thursday, April 5, 2012

Part of me

 A little piece of me:

One of the biggest prayers that I've had for at least the last 5 years... is that my faith would be increased. Reading all the stories of men and women with unshakable faith in the midst of great opposition really inspired this desire. In the beginning, my fervor was like a wildfire. Thus youth provides the flame of passion that must be put under control. This has lead to some of the biggest internal and spiritual battles I'd ever been in my life. Like Peter, Christ shows me daily to trust in His strength and in the mean time, shattering hope in my own.

I've experienced "storms" in my life in which I felt like the disciples while Christ was asleep in the storm. Every-time...without fail  he stills the turmoil. (For those who haven't gathered from my previous posts, I'm a major introvert!) I've literally been to the point of wanting to die! Telling God to strike me down. Yet, through all of my foolishness, He has smiled on me.

I  actually started this blog in a last "ditch" effort to stay on the path. Looking back on my first posts, like journal entries, I thank the Almighty for never walking away. I cannot tell you how  many times I've wanted to.

He's given me so much more than I could ever imagine. Most of my friends are now married, leaving me as one of the only guys who isn't. I often pray that God would really have someone for me... like many my age have.

I'm very grateful that He hasn't though. I wouldn't have changed a thing. He knew what he was doing creating me, giving me the desires, and drawing so near to me. I thought I needed to become a foreign missionary to get close to God (I'm still hoping to get to go,but now I can offer someone!)and cultivate life away from everyone, instead He started right here!

The adventure has been awesome!

God has given me so much. I'm an uncle twice, first niece on the way, and an amazing household that I really am learning to love. It's amazing the learning part. I'm glad that Love is not exhausted!

I'll have to continue more later since I need to get to bed!

May the blessing of The Lover be upon you!


  1. Hey Benjamyn, Love this. Thanks for sharing with us!

  2. I'm glad you continued to! Stay the course, my good friend!

  3. Hey Ben,

    Great picture of your baptism! :-)
    I also really like the quote that you put below your blog title: "To fall in love with God is the greatest of all romances; To seek him, the greatest adventure; To find him, the greatest human achievement." -St. Augustine
    That quote belongs to you :-)