Losing Control

 I have stepped into dangerous waters. I've found one of my biggest problems is...control. I want to be in control of my life. God cannot use someone who is in control. He must lead and guide them, but sometimes he allows them to seemingly wander away from him so they can be truly drawn closer. God sometimes uses chaos to do his bidding.


It seems like whenever chaos ensues, we figure just how controlling we are. I speak of myself in this with very much humiliation. I tend to think when things aren't going according to plan..God isn't in control of everything. How easy is it to forget what he has done for us when we have held back from him a key to our salvation. When we are "in control," the world seems sunny to us, life is sweet, and we feel like it is God's will.


 But wait...is it? 


Doesn't God want us to live a happy life? To be free?


But when the chaos comes we get to see the illusions we have allowed ourselves to believe. (that's for another  post though)


And often we feel the chaos that we face in daily life is from the adversary just to withstand us. Could be....don't forget...he must get permission from the Father to tempt, pain,and otherwise try to knock us out of the fight. 




Come deeper with me. 


Trust....to believe. 


The earliest example ironically of a person who lost control of their life and trusted was..Abraham. He was promised that his descendants would be like the sands of the sea. Also, that Abraham and Sarah would have a son that would be the fulfillment of His promise. 


Seemed like things were on the up and up for them both.


But we all know the story. Abraham was told to sacrifice that promise as a lamb on an altar. Wow. Quite the hit to the gut. I'm sure that Abraham didn't leap at this. But we know that in the end, God saw his trust and counted it as righteousness and Issac didn't die. 


An archaic thought. To let go...lose control. To trust that out on the water is Christ in the midst of the storm going on.It's a step towards losing ourself..VERY scary! the most amazing thing is that when we are able to surrender control, we can reach out and touch people. We, like Mother Theresa said, "are only a pencil in a hand."

It's the foolishness that Christ calls wisdom. 




It's not easy, it goes against everything in us.


Even though I can write this post as if I completely understand the concept of letting go...I in no way don't.