The long road home

Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed--not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence--continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling,Philippians 2:12

  Salvation has been talked about in many circles of Christianity these days. Some believe you can't lose salvation and yet others believe that you really can walk away from God's grace.

My thoughts on the matter are not doctrine, yet it helps me understand where I stand. 

Salvation is a road that we travel on when we decide to follow Christ. A road that we must walk to be free from our past selves. Every step we take gets us closer to our home at the Fathers feet. 

This road looks different for each of us. For some, it is a rocky and rough path, for others it is like climbing a steep mountainous terrain, and for some it is a path full of many tears. Many have sought ways to find the path, while others make their own saying that it leads to the Father only to find out they haven't moved very far. 

Christ is the one who set the path for he is the path itself. He pursues  us when we wandered off from the flock. He is often what we saw when we turned our head and who we see leading us when we are in Him.

Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. John 14:6

It is a path that we must walk until our last day and will be continually walked on until the last of us are gone from the earth.

A pinch of salt....

May the Father be revealed to us, in us, and through us.


(I may think alot, but this is  worth pondering and asking God to do for us!)

Finding God: Part 2 God's Kingdom! Trust Him

 I just got done listening to a fellow housemate read the scriptures to their young ones. In the end, the parable of the mustard seed was mentioned.

 He set another parable before them, saying, "The Kingdom of Heaven is like a grain of mustard seed, which a man took, and sowed in his field; which indeed is smaller than all seeds. But when it is grown, it is greater than the herbs, and becomes a tree, so that the birds of the air come and lodge in its branches." -Matthew 13:31–32

Wild mustard is a weed. This "weed" is not cared for by man but grows into a gigantic plant..from a small seed. 


Often we forget that it is HIS kingdom to come. Not our own. We (especially me) get discouraged when things seemingly go bad. We feel like the kingdom is under attack and all is lost unless we fight (standing in Christ is one thing, but believing God needs you to defend him is another) 


One thing, whether controversial or not is that we need to face that God does not need us to have his kingdom.  He states that even if the apostles didn't speak of him, the rocks would cry out. God is in control. 


So often I forget this. He shows me how little faith I really have....the faith of a child in the arms of their father. Like a child trusts its parents to care for it, even more God cares for us. 


He wants us to be beside him. We the adopted children are his delight along with Christ. We get to be a part of his kingdom, not in control of it. 
  

His alone

"Whom I have in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.
My heart and flesh may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."
-Psalm 73: 25-26




Him that overcometh will I make a pillar in the temple of my God, and he shall go no more out: and I will write upon him the name of my God, and the name of the city of my God, [which is] new Jerusalem, which cometh down out of heaven from my God: and [I will write upon him] my new name.   
-Revelation 3:12


These are two incredible verses. 


First of all. The first verse shows absolute love for God. It represents absolute dependency on Him alone. He is our daily bread, our life-blood, and our only desire. It doesn't matter that we may be a mess, our lives are going the way we think they should go, or even that we look non-spiritual. Because our lives cease to be about us. We, like a bride, become his. 


Which leads me on to the next excellent verse. 


"Him that overcometh will I make a pillar in the temple of my God, and he shall go no more out."


Isn't that an incredible thought? 


Never to leave the presence of the Most High? 


To be a part of His work?  


A pillar upholds a building...fairly simple. It does not move, do it's own thing but stays forever in place until the end. 


Can you imagine that? 


Not to live "Your own" life


but to be FOREVER in His presence?


"And I will write upon him the name of my God, and the name of the city of my God, [which is] new Jerusalem, which cometh down out of heaven from my God: and [I will write upon him] my new name."


Normally, when a bride gets married, she takes on her husband's name. She is no longer who she was. She has no rights apart from her husband...she is his.


On the other side... She gains him. Everything that he  is hers. 
They belong to each other.   




It is fairly similar to what Christ calls his bride to be. 




We cease to look like ourselves, lose who we were, and are joined to Him. We are then changed by him until we are a reflection of him. We no longer move on our own, go anywhere he doesn't, and He is our delight. 






These are my thoughts on two verses. 
I hope these thoughts have encouraged you, that you realize how much it costs to be with Him, and that you are ready to be His alone.

The three relationships..

 This isn't a new  idea but it seemed like a good idea to post on. 


In our walk with Christ, we have three different stages of relationship: stranger, friend,and beloved. Each of these have a different intimacy level, different pains and trials we go through, and deeper joys as we draw closer to Christ. This is one of my thoughts, not necessarily a fact with everyone.




First, we enter the stranger phase with Christ.It is also the point we are servants.This is like being in the outer courts. We only hear what is going on inside. This is sometimes the point we hear about Him, but not always have much experience ourselves. In this stage we are often drawn to Christ fort different reasons. Some for curiosity,hope in a hard time, or many other reasons. We aren't really close to Christ and it is sometimes easy just to walk away. But if we stay, he calls us to become friends.




I do not call you servants any longer, because the servant does not know what the master is doing; but I have called you friends, because I have made known to you everything that I have heard from my father. --John 15:15
In the friend stage, we are called to really hear him for ourselves. It is like when the priest entered the inner courts. We get to partake of the feast of his bounty.He speaks to us like he did the disciples. The hardships we go through are like that of the disciples. We must leave our own lives and follow. We often get discouraged because we may have to leave our family and friends to do so. This stage is probably one of great joy and like climbing a  spiritual mountain as well. Then after a while we are thrown into the furnace like gold to be purified....into lovers. 


Into the gems of his delight.As the beloved we lose ourselves. All we are is a reflection of the Lover of All. The pain of leaving his side is absolutely unbearable. This place is both frightening and exciting at the same time. Frightening since we are totally exposed. Exciting because we are exposed to the one who really loves. It is the Holy of Holies to be a beloved. 

A neat poem

"If there is any kindness I can show, or any good thing I can do to any fellow being, let me do it now, and not deter or neglect it, as I shall not pass this way again." 
-- William Penn




This poem is one of my favorites. It was given to me by a friend about 4 years ago when I was struggling to find God. It is a great definition of what a person who lives for Christ is like. 

Our purpose

I'm pretty full tonight. I just got through my first (of this year) "two people meeting" an hour ago. It was very enlightening. The facts don't matter of how I got there, the exciting thing is what I got out of it.
  
  First of all, I wanted to share something I've been thinking about lately.I have been wearing a ring on my wedding finger for about a week now. People ask me why, but until now I've held out. The ring helps remind me that the relationship that Christ started with me (others as well) is like a marriage. I am unmarried by the world's standards, but I'm joined to Christ in the standards that really count. I'm reminded to keep my thoughts about how I can please him. It's a radical idea, but big changes  are caused by little steps.

Anyways, back to what I learned. I was reminded how Christ called us not to live how we want to, do what ever we dream of, or even feel happy all of the time. He wants to totally destroy our lives, make us ask for death, and to hunger for him. When we truly are emptied of our reputations, pride,and emotional stabilities (for myself) he pours himself into us. We then find out that all of our pain,struggles, and hard times are for one thing. To rid us of everything but him. We are become like a child. The more time we spend with him, the more we are fulfilled. Separation becomes our fear. He becomes our all in all and we desire nothing else. Even in our low times, he is right there. It is such an amazing God we serve!

Awoken from a deep sleep.

Ever felt like you were missing something in your life? I am currently experiencing  this very thing. I started school last week, and have been running blind lately. I cannot tell you much more other than that I wake up some nights out of a dead-sleep feeling very weird. I truly hope none of this is complaining! I guess this is the best time to seek God the most. There is no way that that what's happening is an accident. It is God's hand on my life. I love to understand too much of what he is doing, that I don't trust him out of blind faith. This is the same faith that all disciples of Christ must have. Being with the people of God is for me like being raised from the dead(In theory). First, you of course, are DEAD. No question about that. You hear a voice that tells you to wake up. You have this weird feeling as hands touch your heart, all of a sudden they squeeze. Your heart slowly starts,but one problem, no life blood. You feel empty. The voice then connects a itself to you, and you start to feel... warmth. All of your organs start to work, but you GASP....No Air! Then as if on cue, the voice breathes in your lungs. As you try to wake up you realize that you can't. Your  eyes refuse to open. And the voice says "In time." "Just be patient, you need help." You feel hands touch your eyelids..then all of a sudden, a blinding light floods your pupils. When your eyes adjust, You see not one face, but MANY! This is how it has been for me. It takes the hands of Christ through brothers and sisters around me to bring me to life. They are how God reaches this living creature called Benjamyn. Well hope this made sense and was not complaining.

Wow moment

I just started my first class at University of Tennessee(Selmer branch) tonight. I really could not believe I was there to tell you the truth. Nothing in me should have had the nerve to go through with enrolling. I truly know that it was God that helped me to be able to get everything together for my registration. I mean, I was within a week of not being able to go  because I would have missed the deadline. But, since a friend (Amy Pennington) told me that school started January 19th vs. my thought of sometime in March, I made it. My class tonight was Visual Art,which is amazing in it's self, but not half as much as having a friend in that class with me! I got to see Ken S. in my class tonight, so I knew God was backing me up. I am very happy that I am able to do things with God's people. If tomorrow brings me losing my grant or anything else God may send, I feel that it would be his will. For the moment, I really enjoy having this opportunity to expand my knowledge and to hopefully become clay in the Potter's hands with my direction towards a medical field.

I really hope that I can pass this experience on to others. God wants to use us for his purpose, but he needs us to give up hope that we can do it for him and to know that the only way God uses us is if we allow ourselves to be directed by him. He allows us to be a tool in his work, for he is the hands we need to move at all! Just like Mother Theresa stated " I am only a pencil in the hand of Christ." I  hope to remember that for years to come. For it is not what we can do for Christ, but what he does through us and in us that matters most in his kingdom.That's my thoughts for tonight, I hope it didn't sound too lofty....because God really shows the fruit the day we least expect the test."POP QUIZ!" LOL...I hope that helped lighten it up a little!:-)

All for the King

Today I just want to say how much I love being a part of the people of God. There is nothing in me that deserves at all to be a child of the King! I am so humbled by how  much he cares for us. God brought back my short-fused temper this week...which shocked me, because I truly thought that I was headed away from this. It seems like God had gotten all that was visible to me out of the way, then started on digging at my soul. I read something in Fenelon's Seeking Heart that God does not go after what doesn't react to his touch...It's dead, and cannot fight against his will! He prods our sensitive spots to cause us to be shown who we are down inside. He works until we are absolutely worn out. The cross targets all that is alive to kill our old self. When we do die to our selfish wants, dreams, and desires (.....yes, even those that are for him!),we become still-like  in him. This is when he raises our spirit. We may look the same, have the same defects, but they aren't full of sin. We become like Adam and Eve before sin entered the garden. We look to Jesus for our direction and no longer depend on our self or for that matter, trust self. We are made perfect in the creator's eyes...by the only way we can be, through Christ. We become a true part of Christ when empty of ourselves. Me devoid of self. I hope that I didn't sound lofty with any of this, and would like anyone who feels that way to approach me. I thank God that he works on his children to make us want to  grow up to be like him.Best of all, he is with us all the way! To the end....