It's been a while

Wow.

It's been quite a long while since I've blogged. The years have past like a vapor and life happened!

God has definitely been with me for it...no doubt. But, I feel quite a bit different. Since the last time I wrote....

1.) I moved to Holly Springs from Selmer Tennessee
2.) I've ran my 4th marathon
3.) More relationship trauma than I could handle
4.)  Been through 2 jobs in the past 6 months
5.) Felt like I lost my faith in God entirely

6.) Lost my Dad due to a bicycle on car accident. (He was hit from behind)

I've felt a mixture of real emotion and loss of total feeling. Some days seem like a dream-like fantasy.
As a twenty-something, I battled with depression of being liked by the opposite sex. I felt like I had the obligation to:

-Get married
-Have a high paying job
-Have 2+ children
-Contribute to society in a extra-special way, such as being an innovative voice in the dark.
-Never have the troubles my parents did in their own marriages


I've come to find out that life isn't about never making the blunders, failures, and identity crisis'...but to LIVE.

To be shattered completely some days, exhausted, messy, and depressed. To feel these things without holding back.

People may say since I've taken a completely different road than I ever have that I'm lost.

But I felt lost long before taking the path.

At 31...

I feel in a tailspin. It's hard not to wish I woke up and the world just stopped while I was asleep.
It is as if all the hopes of a future were based on something that is no longer, a lost hope...like holding water in your hands.

Once again :)

Hello Blog-world!
 Been out a bit...two years in fact! God has done a lot in the past year just in general. For one, I've been made coordinator of my county's branch of Teen challenge Lifeline program by default.

It is quite a stretching experience, LET ME TELL YOU!

The guy who I started the program for the county with got cancer, went into remission,and became a youth director...so that dropped the responsibility on my shoulders.

I'm both full of hope and nervous
.

 I'm the supporting guy.

Not the "Managerial" type.

I'm seriously asking for prayer. Not mostly for me, but those I deal with,

That they would really be left with God. Like Peter, that the master would allow me to be a vessel to reach the hurting.

I'm not a really Charismatic person (though passionate) but I believe if I obey Him, things will happen.

Thanks again for following my journey thus far!

How are you?

Well... Hello!

  I literally forgot that I had a blog for a while. If I could summarize what God has been doing in my life lately it would simply be in trust and joy. 

How have you been?
What has God done with you?
Need prayer?  

Please share! My email is servant2122@gmail.com or just comment on this post.

Praise God for he  is the I AM! 

Don't live in the past

More of Christ by David Wilkerson

The long road home

Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed--not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence--continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling,Philippians 2:12

  Salvation has been talked about in many circles of Christianity these days. Some believe you can't lose salvation and yet others believe that you really can walk away from God's grace.

My thoughts on the matter are not doctrine, yet it helps me understand where I stand. 

Salvation is a road that we travel on when we decide to follow Christ. A road that we must walk to be free from our past selves. Every step we take gets us closer to our home at the Fathers feet. 

This road looks different for each of us. For some, it is a rocky and rough path, for others it is like climbing a steep mountainous terrain, and for some it is a path full of many tears. Many have sought ways to find the path, while others make their own saying that it leads to the Father only to find out they haven't moved very far. 

Christ is the one who set the path for he is the path itself. He pursues  us when we wandered off from the flock. He is often what we saw when we turned our head and who we see leading us when we are in Him.

Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. John 14:6

It is a path that we must walk until our last day and will be continually walked on until the last of us are gone from the earth.

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It has been an amazing month so far. Nothing in me says I truly "enjoyed" what God has been doing inside and around my box, but He is God.

His expanding of my boundaries has exposed my internal rebellion against His love. I make things more complicated than they should be...but so far, that's me.

God is amazing and worthy of all glory! Days pass and we falter in our steps, but He is ever constant.

His love is powerful. It is amazing how one song of praise can shatter the depths of depression and darkness...driving away the "bat-wings."

I can say this because it happened to me tonight.

All the hoping and internal turmoil can never cause one step without His calming word (He knows the right word at the right time). It breaks me every time.

While these are just  my scattered thoughts, I feel like a child sitting at the King once again...His son.

He rescues me from the pit of despair and sets my feet on a rock (Him) and reminds me of my calling as a son. He has washed my feet and gave me a new name. I am no longer Self-loathing, I am Peace. My companions are Belief and Steadfastness. Both are my guides to the highlands.

Still here.

Hey Folks! I've been a little busy;between Teen Challenge work and prepping for my marathon, it has been hard to write.

I'm hoping to get a few guest writers in the next couple weeks :-) 

Hope you are having a great January so far!